Saturday, July 16, 2011

BROKE EMPIRE RESORTS TO MASSIVE STORMTROOPER LAYOFFS


Stormtroopers can be found wandering the streets with all of their belongings in their Troopercarts.

 
CREDIT ATTACKS LEAD TO DOWNSIZING
Stormtroopers throughout the Empire received their pink slips this weekend and were summarily kicked to the curb with all of their belongings and a small severance stipend.  As credit problems resurfaced in Europe over the last month, the USA felt like it had dodged a "rebel assault" only to find that all of the radical rating agencies were gearing up for war.

Last week Planet Moody's launched a preliminary onslaught against the Empire's credit domination as a AAA credit by putting the country on credit watch for a downgrade.  Moody's cited the lack of fiscal cohesion on the part of the Senate and Congress and their inability to raise the debt ceiling.

Standard and Poors joined forces with Moody's in an unlikely rebel alliance by also placing the USA on credit watch, but stated that it would drop the credit rating of the Empire if significant budget and deficit cuts weren't approved.  They stated the rating will be cut within 90 days if these changes were not made.

GEONOSIANS (CHINESE) LAUGH AT THE EMPIRE'S LIES
At a high level economic summit on planet Geonosis, General Grevious (aka Tim Geithner) responded when asked how the USA could simply terminate so many of their Stormtroopers with little notice by saying, "It's expensive to run an Empire and we've got to prove that we believe in a strong dollar)."  When concluding his statement, young Geonosian students laughed at the outlandish lie.

While the spending issues in the Empire are the headline stories we are reading, the real drama is playing out in real life as Stormtroopers and Tie Fighter pilots are being furloughed without warning in an attempt to resolve the huge spending deficit.


Many wayward Stormtroopers have been attacked and killed by kangaroos on the dark side of planet Earth.  Stormtroopers without jobs are more susceptible to depression and illness and are often unable to defend themselves from vicious predators. 

DEBT CEILING AGREEMENT?
So how will this play out?  Clearly the CONgress will come to an agreement with the Administration and there will be a debt ceiling agreement.  The rating agencies are simply playing catch up here and should have don't this years ago.  They are a complete joke.

Interestingly, the only credit agency that I actually trust, Weiss, downgraded the USA to debt to C- which equates to a BBB- with Standard and Poors.  It is almost a junk rating!  http://www.thestreet.com/story/11186657/1/us-downgraded-to-near-junk-by-weiss.html?cm_ven=GOOGLEN

Who do you think is really telling the truth?  I tend to side with Weiss since they are the only independent credit rating firm that earns their money from investors that pay them to look at companies and countries.  Standard and Poors and Moody's take their compensation from the companies that issue the debt, which is an obvious conflict of interest.  If one of the current rating agencies other than Weiss gives you a rating you don't like, you just stop paying them to rate it!  Don't you think they are incented to play nice and give you every chance in the world to have the best rating?  This is why the ECB and IMF's interactions with the ratings agencies are a total sham, and why now we are seeing these central banking institutions simply state that they will ignore ratings when purchasing and backing the sovereign debt of Greece and Italy. 

(Yes, I'm having fun, please read the story about Jacob French who is an Australian nut job that clearly doesn't have a job who is now walking across Australia to raise money for charity.  When I saw the pictures I simply couldn't resist; who can resist a story about a guy in a Stormtrooper costume?). 

GOATMUG




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